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The Great Alarm Clock Massacre (Saturday)

© Jane Cassidy

Mary's got an office job, works 9 to 5

So she leaves her house at 7 for a 2 hour drive

Through rush hour traffic just to make a few bucks

Breathing in the fumes from all the cars and trucks, so

Mary's not too thrilled to see the morning sun

When the ringing of her clock tells her the day's begun.

But Saturday, Saturday,

She's gonna blow that clock away (2X)

‘Cause a 9-mm. or an old flintlock

Will do quite a number on a goddam clock.

A 30-aught-6 at 50 yards

Will blast an alarm clock into shards.

Shoot that clock with an UZI, then

You'll be sure it never rings again.

Saturday, Saturday,

gonna blow that clock away,

Jim works in the E.R., he's a trauma Doc,

So he gets up at midnight, starts at one o'clock

On a twelve-hour shift of putting bodies back

Together, setting bones and treating heart attack.

His buddies go to sleep or go and have some fun

While Jim's alarm clock rings and says his day's begun.

But Saturday, Saturday,

He's gonna blow that clock away,

Bob works for the city, where he makes his cash

Working on the clean-up crew, hauling trash,

In every kind of weather, his shift starts at 6.

Sue gets up at 4 with him so she can fix

His breakfast and his lunch, and pour a coffee cup,

And have an hour of peace before the kids get up.

But Saturday, Saturday,

They're gonna blow that clock away,

When the workaday world begins to get to you

And you need some stress-relief, I'll tell you what to do.

We can all go down on Saturday with friends of mine

Sue and Mary, Bob and Jim, down at the firing line.

There's nothing like the sight of an alarm clock drilled

With great big holes to make you feel fulfilled.

So, Saturday, Saturday,

We're gonna blow those clocks away,


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